Batman vs Superman

I have been obsessed lately with the outcome of a fight between Superman and Batman. Do I have a shit load of time on my hands, you ask? No. I just have heaps random thoughts at really random times of the day. Oh, see, I just remembered that my cat electric shocked my nose last night (don’t ask why we were nose to nose, that’s way too much information). Anyhoo, so my best friend reckons Superman but I’m rooting for Batman. Till the end of time! Doesn’t tall dark and handsome claim victory over red, blue and nerdy every day? In my mind it does. So the argument went on and on and still there is no clear victor. Until we make a list...

A race? Superman is faster than a speeding bullet and he can fly, or cheat, whichever way you look at it.

A physical fight? Superman could cheat with his explosive vision (I’m no nerd so I have no idea what the technical term is).

A barn raising contest? (Because I love Seven Brides for Seven Brothers) But again, Superman’s super speed would blow even Batman out of the water when putting up walls. Although, with the help of the bats to hold the frame in place, Batman would have the advantage and win the little heifer.  

So then I start thinking about their alter egos and this is where it’s hands down to Batman. He’s rich, Clark Kent is not. He’s hot, Clark Kent is not. Bruce Wayne has a cool servant who is usually some form of English and is super cool in his own right. Superman, sadly, does not. Bruce has a cool bat cave and an even cooler car to put in it. Superman does not. Did I mention that Bruce Wayne is super hot and super rich? 

So the conclusion is that in a fight, Superman would win because he has more super powers but in everything else, Batman kicks ass! Nuff said?

Doug just threw another idea into the mix. Bruce is rich enough to have a bat suit made out of Kryptonite! Or studded with it like diamantes (yes the man really did use that exact wording). So there you have it boys and girls. Kick ass! 

Excuses, excuses.

I only have one piece of advice for you tonight. If you get pulled over by the cops after legging it from a store (possibly after getting a five finger discount) and they find crack in your coin pocket, this excuse will work every time!

You say, "These pants aren't mine."

Don't even bother with the accusations that the cop planted it there, don't bother with denial. Simple. You get far less time in jail for stealing pants than you ever would for crack.

Dissatisfied!

Because I'm a customer who has spent some hard earned cash on a product I wasn't happy with, I wrote a letter...

Dear Nestle,

Hi, I'm writing to you to ask why you don't put more pineapples in the retro party mix? I know it seems like a dumb question and not one to get cranky about but I only buy this one for the pineapples and racing cars which I can't get any other way and I just cracked open a bag that had one pineapple, three racing cars, one milk bottle and one set of teeth (which by the way aren't very nice now that the white parts aren't minty) and no spearmint leaves! They are my absolute favourite and I can't get them anywhere but the petrol station in a mix that has more pineapples than three of your bags! All this after opening a bag of snakes with only one yellow that I had to let my four year old have so I missed out (again). Please, please, please consider the pineapple likers among us and chuck a few extra in. Oh and bags of spearmint leaves for sale at the supermarket would be cool too.


Damn those Allens bags and their lack of good stuff!

Op Shop Madness!

I have a short gripe about one of our local Op Shops. I went in the other day on my quest to find the perfect cake stand for the wedding cake. Because I’m on this vintage kick (hence the pink stripy background. It’s what I would imagine made the perfect home for warm peanuts at carnivals and fairs) I figured no stone left unturned. I also have found some great stuff for the kids at Op shops in the past. Anyway, no cake stand which doesn’t surprise me. If I had one, I would never let it go. It would become a family heirloom (because I’m a hoarder). Anyway, I found this very pretty black jumper with pink flowers on the front and it was brand new with the tag still attached that said $6.50. Of course I picked one up. My kids are not only eating us out of house and home, they grow out of their clothes at a phenomenal rate. Anyway, I get to the counter to pay for the jumper and a really pretty top and she tries to charge me $9.95. When I asked her what the? she says I’m supposed to only look at their tag and not the brand one. Again, what the?

Now, I’m not an uncharitable person. I always pay too much money at the Op Shop because I know it’s going to a good cause but being a charity, does that mean they can try and rip me off? First of all, I didn’t notice the second ticket so I wasn’t trying to be cagey. Second, I shop in there a bit for bits and pieces so it’s not like she hadn’t seen my face before. And third, don’t get huffy when I ask what the? I would have paid ten bucks for the jumper at Kmart or Target but you’re an OP SHOP!! The same one that wanted $250 for an antique chair that had staples in the skirt. Hello, any good bargain hunter would know that if it had been a truly untouched antique chair, it would have tacks in it like the useless but pretty chair next to my bed. All I can say is pffft! I would like to say that I won’t be going back in there but they have the cutest line of brand new stockings with love hearts and other shapes in them. I am a sucker for cute stuff...

Just some random to get us started

My first post should really tell you something about me. If it doesn’t, you may want to have another read.

So my six year old daughter wanted to buy a Harry Potter DS game today. The Deathly Hallows or something like that (can you tell I’m not a fan) and I ummed and ahhed and even rang Doug (who was no help at all saying it was up to me) so I said no. Crushed six year old. It took her all of ten minutes and a trip to another DS game selling shop and she got over it pretty quick. Anyway, here’s where the dilemma comes in. She ended up with a game kind of like Bejewelled on Facebook which is great for her since now she can stop asking to play on my Facebook page but bad for me. I kind of forgot that I’m a Tetris whore from way back. It started when I won a Gameboy in the Paddle pop lick a stick prize thingo when I was about thirteen. Then I discovered the Tetris game and became quite addicted. I love the game so much that sixteen years later I still have the Gameboy and the game. Anyway, because I lack the proper will power to put the game down, I just lost half the night. I could have been cleaning, finishing the summer dress I started for said six year old, starting the dress I said I’d make for my four year old, cleaning, washing, sleeping, writing, reading, the list is endless.

The moral of this story is not to work on the will power but to think about the consequences of my actions. I would have lost less time if I’d have let her get the HP game in the first place and have nightmares. They only take a few minutes in the middle of the night rather than three hours out of my evening... Mother of the Year award will be knocking my door down any minute. Or CPS =)