I only have one piece of advice for you tonight. If you get pulled over by the cops after legging it from a store (possibly after getting a five finger discount) and they find crack in your coin pocket, this excuse will work every time!
You say, "These pants aren't mine."
Don't even bother with the accusations that the cop planted it there, don't bother with denial. Simple. You get far less time in jail for stealing pants than you ever would for crack.
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